I am sitting here in class, pretending that I am somewhat interested in what my professor is talking about, which I think is the introduction of Tocqueville’s Democracy in America. It is pretty clear that I am not paying attention, but I don’t want my professor to think that, so what do I do?
Type random words and sentences + looking at professor with a slightly furrowed brow and tilted head = looking interested and participatory in a class that I can only describe as Pretensionism in America 101. If anyone has a lifelong goal of being able to effectively act and talk as though you are a Gilmore from Connecticut, this is the class for you. This is the class where course goals include: 1) changing tie preference from long regular tie to bow tie, because it makes you look smarter 2) be able to, when asked a probing multiple choice question, remove ones glasses in a slow sweeping manner, then gently bounce the hand holding them while saying with succinct wiseness “both”
Oh, man, now I just need to be rich or popular so that I can be invited to functions where I could use my new skills. Someday, but for now just don't call me Shirley.
